I have to tell you something that you probably already know.
I loathe recipes.
I love love love to cook. And I especially love love love cookbooks.
I loathe recipes.
And perhaps this is because I hate doing anything that is so precise that someone else needs to tell me how to do it.
But I really think it’s just because I hate doing things the way that other people do them. Is that a terrible thing?
BUT ACTUALLY I think it’s because my dad never used em. And really he was the only one that cooked at home in my formative years (sorry mom, but you know it’s the truth). And really, I’m sure that he made it all up as he went along.
And my dad taught me a ton of amazing things like how to love good music and how to get the best price per unit on trash bags. Dad loves a good mix CD more than anyone I’ve ever met and makes the best ones. He was the first person I ever knew that had a car phone, which when I was 8 was amazing. And sometimes he let me kind of break the rules like when I was not allowed to watch Pulp Fiction (I was 8, but had a serious crush on John Travolta) but he let me listen to the soundtrack in the car.
So I could recite verbatim the “Royale with Cheese” scene at age 8. And had no idea what the gimp was, but I knew someone wanted to bring it out. Which of course made me the coolest 8 year old. like ever.
And I’m pretty sure that I must have inherited his sense of humour, because I never laughed at his jokes until recently, and no one ever laughs at my jokes. But we both get a kick out of ourselves.
But in all seriousness, dad can make a lot of delicious food out of the craziest ingredients. He is the master of the weird creations in our family. In fact, he even has a drink named after him. For the longest time, I thought that orange juice and seltzer was called an ‘Orange Scott’ because that’s what the family called it. An ORANGE SCOTT. OJ and Seltzer – because no one in the world thought of that before. It was not until the Fox family of Philadelphia by way of Sea Isle City NJ decided to incorporate it into their vernacular that it really became something.
He also makes the most amazing breakfast potatoes in the world. And has an omelet named after him – the Scomelet (get it, Scott omelet?). It has everything in it and it always turns out delicious. And dad is on the verge of everything cool. He discovered sriacha before all the hippest hipsters.
Growing up, my mom never cooked – she did everything else and is amazing – but she just doesn’t have that genetic ability to make delicious foods in the kitchen – She does place a takeout order like nobody’s business, however. And so I learned how to cook mainly I guess through diffusion from my dad. And he just went and did. Even little things that he made like broiled chicken thighs were delicious. To this day, his refrigerator is always full with crazy things – but he can make them fabulous.
And the craziest thing is that it’s not even something that people talk about. People talk about my dad being a great musician, a guy who can tell you the day of the week a date will be 3 years from now, and just a smart guy with an ability to read dense American President biographies at an average rate of 5 pages per minute*, but they never ever talk about his cooking skills. So on this, the 9th father’s day in a row that we have spent apart, I just wanted to tell the world what a great cook my dad is.
And because of my dad (well, and his mom), I can make a jar of pickles, yellow mustard, achovey paste and a fillet of frozen whitefish taste delicious.
And just for fun, because it’s our song
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Love you.
*this is not a scientific fact, but it sure is close.
ps. I promise diamonds and furs are coming back soon.