Good Morning Darlings,
Remember how I told you how much I hated taking showers? (see: http://foodlovesfashion.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/why-i-loathe-showers-or-how-my-time-could-be-better-spent-musing-on-drugstore-bath-products/)
Well I still do. I mean, I still feel like they are a waste of time and disallow me from the constant content consumption my generation so desperately needs.
Buuuut I gotta tell you that a new razor and a serious hangover yesterday made me reconsider my complete loathe to take showers.
First of all, yesterday I woke up feeling like a completely strange person had taken over my body. That’s right, I woke up still drunk. Which, darlings, is not a good look for a lady like myself. But I giggled my way through the first couple hours of the day.
And, I just want to make sure that you are aware that Ido not make a habit of drinking so heavily on school nights, but I was celebrating my first Philadelphia friend coming to visit me in my new home (and yes, this is meant to make all of you feel guilty) . And celebrate we did.
All I know is that we started the night (well it was day at that point) drinking beer. I, of course decided on this gem that I have recently started to enjoy:
This beer is an amazing mix of greatness. It is kind of pink (so Barbie Beer), not quite sweet and just plain lovely. Anyway, when I started the day drinking a few of these fairly light (5%) beers, I had no idea what the night had to offer.
Suffice to say, after a pub crawl consisting of gin gimlets, champagne of beers, 2 shots of tequila, a Washington apple shot (ew, what the fuck) and a shot of SocoAmarettoLime (also, wtf – except that it reminds me of being 19 and dancing dancing dancing all night long and that amazing brand new song that can still make 27 year old lcf break down and cry into her argyle socks like the emo child she once was). AND THEN. AND THEN. AND THEN we got home, apparently polished off a bottle of Cava AND one of these.
And that is why I woke up drunk. In fact, the late onset hangover didn’t even hit until around 3:30. And then something amazing happened, I was responsible. I went to Zumba and sweated out some of my ridiculousness. And then I came home and ate Kale for dinner. And went to bed at a reasonable hour. And when I woke up this morning, I felt like a million bucks. Except for the binge drinking pimple that is emerging smack dab in the middle of my chin.
Anyway, I digress. The reasons behind my newish feelings toward showers come from yesterday when I sweat out enough booze to get Sigma Delta Nu at least a little buzzed (omg LCF – how crass!) and MY NEW RAZOR.
Yesterday, I got this sparkling gem in the mail.
So I know, I know. It’s a mans razor. So what? I use mens deodorant, love mens cologne and would rather wear a mans shirt than pretty much anything else every day of the week. Even Garance (http://www.garancedore.fr/en/2013/04/15/borrowed-from-the-boys/) agrees. I pretty much hate womens razors because I think that companies spend too much time figuring out the exact right shade of pink/purple to make it and don’t spend enough time on making sure that the razor itself will ensure silky smooth legs that make you feel like Giselle if only for a moment. Men’s razors are meant for smaller areas, therefore they are designed to be more precise, more able to really work hard for you.
And ladies, I am here to say that I am a Harry’s convert. The razor set I purchased, The Winston, at $25 for a handle, 3 razors and a tube of cream (will get to that in a sec) is way cheaper than a venus. AND darlings, it just looks so cool.
The one bad thing about the razor, just the one , is that since it’s not really manufactured for use in a shower, is that the handle gets really slippery. But I will figure out a way around that because the razor itself is so amazing. It’s such an easy shave. And the shave cream that comes in the set is amazing. It’s kind of a minty-tobacco-y scent, very masculine and delicious. I never really use shave cream, but I will start because this is fabulous. When le hubs gets back from Cali, I am sure that I will have to defend it as MY RAZOR – NOT YOURS!
So of course, the idea of having a new product in the shower is amazing, but to have a new product in the shower when you are so entirely hungover and sweaty from trying to sweat out your hangover is quite another. So my feelings toward the shower have moved slightly toward the “well I guess this is okay” side of things. I still would rather be singing along to this in front of my mirror instead:
In closing, I would like to say a few things:
1. Binge drinking really should be illegal after the age of 25.
2. Never keep pouches of frozen cocktails in your freezer. Not even the bottle of Veuve in your fridge can make up for the lowbrowness of it all. Not to mention, nothing good has ever come from ingesting things from a packet.
3. Go buy a Harry’s razor. Seriously. Go. Now. Harrys.com